Archive for December 2012

Don’t Turn That Woman Off with Your Terrible Texts!   3 comments

20121229-180859.jpg

You might think that having easy access to contact women via e-mail, Facebook, online dating and phone texts would INCREASE a guy’s chances of success, right?
Not at all. Most guys unknowingly turn women off when they text them, just like they do when talking to a woman in person if they don’t do it correctly, so all that access to “chat to women online” amounts to the same old rejection, loneliness and confusion.

Good texts vs Bad texts

Instead of giving you a list of terrible texts, I’m going to explain where guys go wrong when texting and why it turns women off. Why? To create a list of bad texts for you would not be accurate because what may be a bad text from ONE GUY, will be a funny and exciting text from ANOTHER GUY. It’s just like how, in person, a joke from one guy doesn’t sound funny, but when another guy says it, people find it hilarious, charming, and cool and they crack up laughing. Understand?

So, any website that gives you a “Top 10 list” of “bad” texts is simply providing you with amateur advice that has not been properly thought through or researched. Don’t be fooled into thinking that being a cool, confident and charming guy is as simple as reading a “top 10” list. Being a cool guy starts from within and if your head is full of insecurities, fears, neediness and anxiety regarding women you will NOT come across as “cool” until you fix that.

With that said, you now can probably work out the answer as to why women will like a text from one guy but hate the exact same text from another. Right? If you don’t yet know the answer, read on and it will come to you.

Guys who are afraid to call women

When some guys get a woman’s phone number, they aim to keep their contact with her strictly “at hands length” by only texting rather than calling her and having a funny, interesting and enjoyable conversation before arranging a real date.

When a guy does this, a woman will begin to wonder why he keeps sending messages back and forth but doesn’t seem to want to meet with her in person. If she’s experienced enough with men or is a bit of a “natural” at understanding men, she’ll recognize that what he’s really showing her is his insecurity about having that face-to-face encounter. The realization about his lack of confidence will be a major turn-off for her and she’ll begin to wonder whether he’s just another wimpy guy who is afraid of women and rejection.

Eventually, the woman will stop replying and hope that the guy “gets the message,” so to speak. The guy can continue using every bit of technological communication at his disposal to try to regain her attention, but it will be pointless in most cases. He’s already shown her that he’s too scared and immature to have a real relationship and no matter what he does to try to regain her attention, his opportunity with her is likely lost forever. Today’s modern woman is looking for a confident, personable man who wants to meet her, engage her in a lively, interesting and fun conversation…and probably do more with her. *coughs* She’s not looking for yet another “keyboard buddy” or a guy who is so afraid of women that he hides behind text messages and smiley face emoticons!

Turn off texts

It’s one thing for a guy to text a woman he’s dating if he needs to make a last-minute change of plans, is running late for a date or for some other minor matter, but if a man is texting to set up a date with a woman rather than using his phone to call her, many women will be turned off. Sure, some girls like it because they are too shy to talk as well, however, most women, especially beautiful women, get annoyed by guys who try to organize everything via text.

When texting becomes a man’s primary form of communication with a woman, it can make her think that she’s apparently not important enough for him to call her or she may realize that he’s simply too nervous to call her to have a brief conversation with her to set up a date. What most guys don’t understand is that texts don’t create the same interpersonal appeal a woman craves that only can be accomplished by hearing a man’s voice on the phone or in person. They don’t know that listening to a special man’s voice is just another thing that gets a woman excited and turns her on. I remember realizing this after several women commented how sexy my voice sounded when I called them. However, I’ve never heard a woman say, “Your text writing style is so sexy!”

Childish writing style
It’s okay to use SOME slang and abbreviations when writing text messages. However, these days, a lot of guys have been sucked into the girly, childish style of writing texts. It doesn’t matter if the guy is intelligent, successful or cool, he can just as easily be a victim of this immature writing style which started when pre-teen and early teen girls began writing text messages years ago.

This is where I will make an exception and give you a “list” of bad texts. Any text in this writing style is lame. Why? It’s boyish, immature and it is a trend that was started by little GIRLS! If you want to copy little girls, go ahead and text women like this:

“I m late c u in 20.”

“What r u doin? Idk wat 2 do”

“c u l8r”

GM assumed to be Good morning

“Nyt”assumed to be night

Presumably, you wouldn’t send a text like that to a client or boss, would you? When texting your boss or an important client, you’d want to show your maturity. When texting a woman, do you want to show her your immaturity or maturity? If you do send little girl texts, a woman will either think you lack intelligence and/or an education or you like behaving like a boy instead of a man and will likely become needy, clingy and feminine if she has a relationship with you. Personally, I’ve only ever sent that style of text as a JOKE to some guy friends because they know how lame it is and are aware that it was a trend started by LITTLE GIRLS who were trying to be “cool.”

So, if girls are writing texts to you in that way – what should you do instead? Write properly! Even if a girl/woman writes to you in that girly style of text, write back like a mature, masculine guy. For example:

Girl: “hey…wat u doin? i wana c u…do u lyke me 2?”
Man: “Yeah, you’re alright. I’ll let you see me soon.”

Don’t write:

Girl: “hey…wat u doin? i wana c u…do u lyke me 2?”
Man (boy?): “i lyke u 2. im doin nothin…i wana cu 2”

The second example looks like TWO GIRLS texting each other. If you write like a girl and act like a girl, how do you expect her to be attracted to your manliness Or, if you like behaving like a little boy, enjoy the continued rejection by women you like and if you happen to get into a relationship, look forward to her losing interest after the first date. Then, expect her to say, “I need some space. I think we should take some time apart.” Women and girls want guys who behave like MEN, not like little girly boys who want to be cute and sweet like a little girl.

Constant contact
Some desperate guys will go so far as to stay in CONSTANT contact with a woman by sending her an endless number of texts. Guys like this want to keep themselves on the woman’s mind, but they end up annoying her like a pest. He’ll text “cute” funny messages, tell her how much he misses her, send her love poems, love messages and so forth. He’ll think he’s being romantic and is doing the right thing. However, if SHE hasn’t started this type of communication to show her feelings for him first, she won’t be charmed by his texts. Instead she’ll take this type of constant contact as a sign of how desperate he is. She’ll also likely think that he must not have enough going on in his life that he has all this free time to constantly text her. That mindset is all she’ll need to realize that he isn’t the type of guy she wants in her life. All women dream of being with a man who is charismatic, strong, confident and sexually appealing. They don’t sit around dreaming about desperate, wimpy guys who don’t have anything else to do but text her all night.

Why doesn’t she answer me?
Often, the same guys who send women text after text will expect her to reply to the messages immediately. If she doesn’t answer or respond in some way within minutes (much less hours or days), he goes into panic mode and starts wondering what might be wrong. He thinks, “Oh, no! She doesn’t like me anymore! Maybe she likes someone else!” After that, he’ll increase the frequency of his texts to make sure he is constantly on her radar. He may even feel compelled to send a desperate message like, “Hey, I sent you a message yesterday. Why haven’t you replied?” not realizing that some people have a life and don’t have time to be messing around with text messages every day.

Guys like this will spend most of their time worrying why the woman isn’t responding, not realizing that women hate guys who worry like that. He might even send a text asking if he has done something to upset her or if she is seeing someone else. If she doesn’t reply and he keeps trying to reach out to her, the woman’s attraction for him will diminish with each new text until she does send one final text saying, “Stop sending me messages!”

Some guys reading along now will be thinking, “So, what should I do instead?” and if you’re one of those guys, you obviously don’t know that women WANT you to make THEM chase YOU. If you want easy and consistent success with women, you need to make women feel SO MUCH attraction and interest in you that THEY pursue YOU. If you try to pursue women, especially beautiful women, they will almost always play hard to get. If you become desperate in response to the woman playing hard to get, she will almost always reject you.

Tacky sext messages
Some men who are too scared to take their relationship with a woman to a sexual level in person, will often take their texting to the next level by sexting photos of their “physical attributes.”

These misguided guys think that naked pictures of themselves will turn a woman on, not realizing that it is MEN who watch porn and get turned on by images of naked women. When a woman masturbates, she doesn’t go to a porn site to watch videos; she closes her eyes and IMAGINES a confident man (or men) doing things to her or she remembers a prior sexual experience that she really enjoyed. Sending a naked picture to a woman is like her sending you a text saying, “I have a nice personality. Don’t worry about my looks. My personality is what you want.” That’s not what you want to hear to get turned on. You want to see her beautiful face, body, breasts, butt and everything else.

Women are attracted to a man’s confidence. If you think sending a picture of your wiener or a tacky photo of you in the bathroom mirror with your top off will be a substitute for you being a confident, charming and interesting guy, then THINK AGAIN. Sure, very young women like sending “sexts” back and forth, but the guys who send them and actually get laid are the guys who are confident in REAL LIFE. The wimpy guys, who are not confident but have “six pack abs” or bulging biceps, do NOT get laid by sending sexts. Unless the guy is confident in real life, most women will be turned off by a photo or video sext and wonder why the man doesn’t have enough confidence to show her his “stuff” up close and personal. However, she won’t tell him that because girls generally don’t tell guys where they are going wrong; they just reject them.

Additionally, if a woman hasn’t seen a man’s wiener in real life, she does NOT want photos of it to show up on her phone or computer. It’s just not what turns a woman on. Women want a self-assured guy who is going to make them feel all sorts of amazing emotions because of his confidence. Photos of his six-pack abs, chest muscles or wiener are NOT going to do that. If you’re not confident, you have to change that. Learn and become a confident guy or suffer the consequences.

When you should call instead of text
These days, a lot of modern men are so used to hiding behind e-mails, Facebook messages and SMS that the thought of calling up a woman makes their palms sweat or their heart beat really fast.

However, as you may have experienced if you’ve been too afraid to call a woman to set up a date and instead tried to organize everything via text, it usually fizzles out!

Alright I wish you success in 2013 and hope you also have more success with your one true love.

Happy New Year in advance and Happy Holidays!!!

Advertisements

Posted December 29, 2012 by Lekan Daniels in KOLAESQUE